Titus Update

I wanted to do a quick update on Titus and his epilepsy.  He has not had any seizures since his last big one about a month ago,,,Praise the Lord!  I did take him to his neurology appointment this past week and they did not say any real new news (which I kinda figured this would happen going into the appt). They did report that his blood levels were low last time we went and got his blood work done (the day after his last seizure, frustrating that it has taken a MONTH to know these results!).  They did up his meds again!  Which means that now he takes 3ml in the morning and in the evening!!  This is a lot and I am pretty upset about it.  I mean I don't even really want him on these meds, much less to keep having to be on it more and more!  I asked if him being on the cough medicine could've counter acted his seizure meds and he said no, not this kind of medicine that he is on.  He said that he is not really sure why he keeps having such low levels, b/c he has not been super sick, nor grown an exceptional amount, and that we are giving it to him consistently!  He said that it may be his metabolism is super high and is burning it off, this happens in 5% of people and is totally genetic and nothing can be done about that.  Seth does have a pretty high metabolism so this is perhaps a possibility?

To be perfectly honest and transparent, this whole thing makes me sick to my stomach!  I even threw up on the way to his appt, this is how much I absolutely HATE this sick, scary thing that my poor, sweet, handsome, innocent son has to go through!  The neurologist was really nice, but there is simply nothing left to do except to up his dose, continue to pray, and keep a close eye on him.  He did say that often people's seizures are triggered by fatigue (good thing we have always kept him on a good sleeping schedule).  He is currently at the age of dropping his morning nap and just taking one long afternoon nap, so I have to be really careful to watch him to make sure that he doesn't get over tired by the time the after lunch time nap rolls around.  His running record has been one a month and so that means that he is about *due for one* :(  We have to make a decision everyday to trust in the Lord and HIS perfect will and grace for Titus!

When we left the doc appt, I felt soooo helpless and super emotional (being preggers doesn't really help me out in the emotional department).  I ran by the pharmacy to go ahead and drop of his *new dose of prescription and the sweet receptionist could even tell that I was not myself, she asked, "are you tired dear, you just don't seem like your normal joyful self!"...and I just LOST IT!!  I started crying and crying and crying.  I do not feel like my normal joyful self, and in a way I do feel like in a way that this whole thing is trying to rob mine and my family's joy!  But we will not let this happen!  We do believe, strongly believe that he will be healed and we declare this every morning when we pray to our sweet savior (the kids included!!).
He has to go back in 9 weeks for another appointment, Lord willing we will have  a great report and he will remain seizure free until then too!!!!