Theraputic Seizure Ramble

So today, I had my pre-op for my scheduled c-section.  All was going well, I was cutting up with the lady while she was doing my paperwork, when I received a text from my neighbor saying, "Is everything ok".  My heart SUNK, because the night before I woke up due to a horrible, horrible dream that I had about Titus where I was at the hospital having the baby and was coming down to the hall and I saw Seth's mom and dad standing outside the hospital room praying, and it was Titus NOT the new baby!  He was not doing well at all, by the looks on their faces, I ended up waking myself up during the dream because I was so upset.  So when I got this text today, I KNEW she must have meant that there were paramedics at my house!!  I immediately called Seth (who was home with the babies, he took a sick day so I could go and do the pre-op), he picked up the phone, but did not say anything, I could hear the paramedics talking though at my house (NIGHTMARE!!).  I lost it!! and began crying and pretty much hyperventilating!  The woman doing my paperwork was an angel, for real!  She started fanning me, praying with me, and calming down.  Seth called me back and said that they were on the way to the hospital and at least I was already there.  But still I wanted and needed to be with my baby!!  I tried super hard to hold it together (for me and my unborn baby's sake!), and continue to fill out my paperwork, but I was such a mess!  Then Seth called back and said that he was out of his seizure and that he did not need to come to the hospital after all.  The paramedics stayed for about 20 minutes monitoring him and assessed the situation and said that he was fine to stay home.

This was wonderful news! and Praise the LORD that Seth was able to get him out of it!!  The lady helping me said that I could go home and come back later or another day, but I was so close to being finished and I knew that Titus was just sleeping on his Daddy's chest anyways (and how the heck was I going to come back, Seth had already taken a half day to get this work done TODAY).  So, I decided to put on my big girl panties, man up and stay to finish.  Still, the lady was super sweet, she personally went and got all the people I needed for my consult and had them hurry and do their fastest work, so that I could get home.  I still continued to CRY and CRY and CRY the whole time, once I start crying it's sooo hard for me to stop and plus I just really wanted/needed to lay eyes on him!!

Once I got finished I rushed home (my car was on "E" when I pulled OUT of the driveway that morning from my house, but I still made it there and back without running out of gas), *hopefully I will make it to the gas station on my next outing, ha!  Seth sent me this picture on my way home, which helped a lot.

When I walked through the door, he was still sleeping on Seth, and Seth knew to hand that baby over!!  I held him and cried and thanked God that He was gracious once again!  Stevie Joy came so calmly and sweetly over to us and put her beloved "Frankie" (blankie) on him and said, "He's okay, Mama, he didn't have to ride in the ambulance this time, like we've been praying for!"  Thank you Jesus :)

The whole family (minus Neela who was snuggling with none other than Tommy) all sat on there on the couch holding him and loving on one another.  Seth explained to me what happened.  Apparently, they were all in the backyard picking up pine cones and Titus tripped over something and fell on the asphalt, and got so hurt that he immediately began seizing (so once again an emotional trigger).  He gave him his Diastat (rectal valum) and began CPR, he still wasn't breathing so he called 911 and paramedics came within a few minutes, by the time the paramedics got there, Seth had got him breathing, but it was still very staggered breathing.  The paramedics took over from there and got his breathing under control, and got him settled. While this is so frightening to hear, at least he IS okay now!!

After a while, we decided to lay him down in his own bed so that he could sleep/rest more peacefully.  And are watching and monitoring him on his video monitor.

Seth went ahead and took the rest of the day off, because let's face it, after giving your child CPR and seeing him seize like that, you really are not in any kind of "normal" emotional state!  And plus I really really needed him here with me (dang hormones)!

Now we are just sitting here kinda like zombies, the kids are sleeping for their naps and we don't really know what to do with ourselves!  We always get like this after watching this.  Mad, hurt, sad, emotional, anxious,,,,.
Worried about the new baby, will we be able to give her the attention she deserves,will she have this too, can we handle this,,,etc. Writing about it really does seem to help and is very therapeutic.  It calms my nerves a bit.

The plan is to take Titus to get his blood levels drawn today once he wakes up from his nap and go from there.  Of course, as usual, we (and hopefully you) will continue to pray, pray, pray for our little man that he will be healed and blessed in the name of Jesus!!